Suddenly, I hope that I will never have to go through another heartbreak or a broken relationship ever again. The thought of it frightens me. I've been through so much throughout my whole 22 years in this lifetime..
I am not afraid to share the fact that I fell into depression at the age of 17.. due to a broken relationship. It was so bad that I had to see a psychiatrist and attended a relationship course to make myself feel better. I have lost weight, to the extend that i weighed only 41kg. Eventually, I was admitted to hospital twice and absenced for months during my international school days. I flunked my O levels, and retook it the following year.
But every experience is never wasted, because that indeed taught me how to treat and love a guy right. I learnt how to manage quarrels better and control my emotions.. since that depressing period, I finally step out of it within a year by the love of God and the right people around me. I'm thankful for that.
Looking back, i've been through almost all sorts of relational journey in my life. From the ups and downs to short and long relationships, I am still that insecured girl. I am not perfect, I make mistakes too.
However, I always believe everything happens for a reason. Just like, I would not expect myself to make a break of my previous 2.5 years relationship. Strangely but true enough, I am firm with my decision and have not looked back since. I am confident with my choice because I know I will never have to worry and be that much of an insecured girl anymore. Again, It was all part of God's plan for me.
Soon after, I met my present boyfriend, ken. I sincerely thank God for him because he was the reason that I finally understood what's real love should be. After going through so much, he's the first guy who can really take care of me. How nice is it like, when someone did so much for you and how much your family likes him. I love you, baby.
Whereas on the heavier note, seeing what my girlfriend went through.. I wished so much that I could be there for her too.. maybe i'm just thinking too much.. that i'm probably no longer that important.. but I know i did my part in calling and smsing her. And I'm just a phone call away.
It made me felt as if i'm really useless or something.. just wana say, ive always been here, reading your blog everynight and keeping you in my prayers. I won't deny the fact that I was a lil disappointed.. in myself actually. I just felt that I could have been there to comfort you, something that I could do at the least as a girlfriend. I could have done better.
But whatever it is, I just hope that things will be better for you. :-)
and I care for you too.
I'm logging off now.. medicines are knocking me out already.. goodnights!
